Tonight I've Been Mostly Watching (crap on) Tubi...
Dream House Nightmare (2017)
An Asylum joint. Real estate horror. Not the worst thing they've put out, by far, but not at all good.
Against the Night (2017)
Ghost hunting in an abandoned prison goes horribly wrong. An evening spent watching horror movies on Tubi also goes horribly wrong thanks to the crummy movie Against the Night.
The Monster Project (2017).
Found footage. Something interesting probably happens at some point, some point after I gave up waiting.
Darkroom (2009)
Stultifying psychological horror.
The Night Evelyn Came out of the Grave (1971)
After four crap films, I had to go with something more familiar. Hadn't seen this giallo in ages so it was pretty much new to me. Sooo much better. Saved the night.
Maybe I need to filter out anything made in the last ten tears. Despite five decades of technological advancement and an explosion in film literacy sine Evelyn came out of her grave, so many modern indie filmmakers just can’t seem to make a baseline watchable movie.
True and the Rainbow Kingdom - Tricky Treat Day (2019)
Not the target audience, at least until grandkids happen, but this was pretty good for a modern little kids’ cartoon show. I guess.
Last Kids on Earth - Book One
More stuff I’m not remotely in the target demo for. Not really feeling it.
We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018)
All the mehs. Some lovely production design but… nah.
A Haunting in Silver Falls: The Return (2019)
I actually tracked down the original A Haunting in Silver Falls before watching this. I actually watched it and still proceeded with this unnecessary sequel. What's wrong with me. What’s wrong with Netflix that this was there. How did the original make enough money to warrant a sequel?
(Rewatch) I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)
After so much mediocrity I needed some comfort spooks. Still holds up nicely
Marianne (2019)
One of the best TV horror series I’ve seen in a while. It does run long, they all run long.
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Medium (1985)
Polish period thriller with occult themes. Quite good.
Logging my Halloween season viewing (I started in September so I'd have enough to post in the early days). This time it's documentaries and "reality" shows.
Stranger Than Fiction...
Britain’s Wicca Man
A fascinating documentary on the man who invented modern Witchcraft.
Ancient Ghosts of England (2018 - Prime)
Less obnoxious than most Ghost hunting programs, thanks mostly to host Chris Halton who seems like a decent enough chap. Still, chock full of ghost hunting bollocks.
Celtic Monsters Omens of Death / Demons
The darker side of Celtic folklore examined with the help of some marvelous storytellers. Quite nice and a bit spooky.
The Unexplained Witches, Werewolves, and Vampires (1994)
I’m usually a fan of cheesy old paranormal TV shows but this installment of the Peter Graves hosted series was pretty much garbage.
Hellier (2019 - Prime)
I have little to no time for so-called paranormal researchers (aka ghost hunters and their brethren in other paranormal fields) and even less for paranormal podcasters. It's is the laziest kind of storytelling, bereft of creativity, cynical and almost always entirely insincere. I love a good spooky story but once the fake psychics, dowsers, mediums, shamen, and ghost hunters enter the picture it ruins it for me.
Hellier takes that nonsense and turns into a faux documentary series. I could only take an episode and a half.
Celebrity Ghost Stories (2008 - Prime)
As I mentioned in the Hellier entry, most paranormal “reality” shows get on my nerves. So, it follows, that I’d hate a series like Celebrity Ghost Stories and yet I don’t. Sure, the format is similar to many other shows I actively dislike - talking heads relating supposedly true paranormal experiences, the involvement of psychics, mediums, etc... And yes, there’s a certain amount of cynicism that these celebs are simply cashing in on whatever cachet their name holds (though to be fair there are some pretty big names that show up who probably don’t need the promotion or the paycheck.). But its more than that, maybe its because these are real actors, not paranormal day players, so their performances seem more genuine, I don’t know but I find many of their paranormal experiences more compelling than most.
Perhaps the primary reason I can watch CGS with minimal agita is that the reconstructions, combined with the celebs’ tales, make for some genuinely eerie moments and even the occasional scare. Also, by listening between the lines, you can often get a good idea of what really happened (sleep paralysis, emotional reactions to stressors such as grief or personal / career reverses, drugs and/ or alcohol-fueled delusion, lies).
Bigfoot: The Mysterious Monsters (1974)
Good ole Peter Graves, making the dopiest woo sound credible. I have a soft spot for these ‘70s paranormal documentaries and this Bigfoot one is no exception.
Contact
Similar in format to many of my favorite paranormal / UFO docs of the era, but not one I care for.
As much as I've wanted to hold off on prime Halloween coverage until October... I just can't. Purposely watching stuff I'm less interested in was a dumb move so here's the last of it:
*Spooky TV
One Step Beyond - The Haunted U-Boat (S1 E17 1959)
Years before playing the buffoonish Col. Klink on Hogan's Heroes, actor Werner Klemperer portrayed a decidedly less comedic German Officer in this middling submarine set mystery.
1981
Taxi - Jim the Psychic (S4 E1 1981)
Jim predicts Alex’s imminent death. Not spooky, despite some fine screams, but a solid episode. Andy Kaufman shines, as usual, in an unrelated subplot.
* Bad Movies?
The Demolitionist (1995)
Roboladycop mediocrity. Not the worst of this kind of thing but nothing special.
Napoleons Curse (2007)
New Orleans set haunted house horror.
Sometimes the line between indie and amateur gets blurred. This is the directors' third film so not an amateur I guess but yikes. Music cues are good for a laugh though and it has the best awkward dance scene song since Birdemic brought us "Hanging Out with the Family."
Crooked Billet (2017)
Oh dear.Another barely watchable low budget horror flick. I feel for movies like this, I’m sure a more generous budget would make for more effective, more compelling, pictures. Sadly it’s hard to look past these limitations despite the good intentions of the filmmakers.
When I see films like this I genuinely hope it leads the folks involved to bigger, more fully realizable, projects. I may not have liked, or even been able to finish their movies, but I value their passion for the art form and I wish them the best.
The Caller (1987)
Twisty two-hander starring Madolyn Smith and Malcolm McDowell. Essentially an overlong off-brand Twilight Zone episode. Getting to the twist will depend on how much you love the cat and mouse between the leads.
Dull as dishwater Giallo. Thought I’d missed something the first time around but nope.
Hider in the House (1989)
The most astonishing part of this is how effective it is despite the fact it does exactly what it says on the label. No twists, no subverted expectations. And it still works. It’s also nice to see pre punchline Gary Busey doing his thing.
The Final Terror (1983)
Above-average slasher in the woods flick. Held up on repeat viewing.
The Last Horror Film (1982)
I hadn’t seen this one in years and was really pleased with how well it’s held up. It’s a guilty pleasure to be sure but still a pleasure.
*Real Estate Horror
Are You in the House Alone? (1978)
High school stalker TV movie that makes up for lack of gore with relationship and domestic drama. Fairly effective for what it is thanks to a solid cast including Blythe Danner and Dennis Quaid in supporting turns.
Apartment 1303 3D (2013)
Yeah, no. Just terrible.
The Valdemar Legacy (2010)
Not particularly successful, slightly Lovecraftian, Gothic from Spain. Perhaps the last film with horror legend Paul Naschy. Sadly it’s barely a horror film and the dramatic elements aren't at all compelling. In fact, it eventually descends from boring to ridiculous, introducing Alistair Crowley, Bram Stocker, infamous accused murderesses Belle Gunnis and Lizzie frickin Borden. as characters. It's like crappy fan fiction.
The House (Húsið: Trúnaðarmál ) (1983)
Icelandic haunted house/relationship drama that starts slow, it takes nearly 20 minutes to get its protagonists into The House, and makes some interesting, though for me, not particularly satisfying narrative choices.
This was, according to Wikipedia, Iceland's official selection for the Academy Award for Best Foreign Film in '84, though it didn't make the shortlist of nominees that year. I can see why it was selected, as it does have a bit of an art-house vibe.
