Friday, October 25, 2019

Halloween Logged: Oct. 25


Recommended





Tigers Are Not Afraid (2017)


Well made, but superficial, social awareness horror (so, not really horror) from Mexico. Perhaps I was expecting too much, after all the blog/social media hype I’d read in the last few months, but I was underwhelmed. Telling these types of stories in a horror setting is often a solution to not having confidence that your story, or its execution, can stand on its own.







Watchable





Matchless (1967)

Patrick O'Neill stars as a spy, being held in a Chinese military prison,n who is gifted a magic ring that imbues him with the power of invisibility. Not much hilarity ensues.




Elaan (1971)



The same basic idea as Matchless but Bollywood style (with a couple of near-identical scenes) but.a far more entertaining film.







I.F.O Identified Flying Object (1987)


Goofy teens, a goofy self-aware killer drone, goofy computer hacking 80s style. It has to be seen to be believed but then you’d have to watch it and its not good, not good at all.





Munchies (1987)

Stars out promising enough with Harvey Korman in Peru hunting for Ancient Aliens, but soon devolves into a mix of poorly written nerd romance and dopey slapstick. 





Blood Moon (2014)


What should have been terrible - a low budget Brit shot indie horror western - turns out surprisingly watchable.



The Possession of Michael King (2014)

Found footage but better than it has any right to be. 




Raatri (1992)

Teen possession drama from the early nineties but still with an eighties feel. It starts out great but takes too long to do too little. Still, a pretty good effort.





The Inhabitant (2017)

Flat and predictable home invasion goes supernaturally wrong flick from Mexico. Not bad, just meh.





Not Recommended




It’s Alive (1969)



Oof.

Machhli Jal Ki Rani Hai (2014)

Oof, but from India.



Thursday, October 24, 2019

Halloween Logged: International House of Terror


Recommended






Corridor of Mirrors (1948)

Solid gothic melodrama with an excellent supporting cast (including a dashing young Christoper Lee).


Watchable






The Nun (2005)

Not that Nun. Mediocre revenge from the watery grave kill fest wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. The titular nun is pretty silly looking, sadly.






13 Terrors (2014)

Decent enough Thai schoolhouse horror has its moments.



The Ghost (1963)

Should have loved this - Barbera Steele, creaky old mansion, seances, mad doctors, ghosts - but it was dull as dishwater. Not bad, just dull.



Not Recommended





Voice From the Stone (2017)

Finally found a sleep aid with no pesky side effects. Just switch it on and off to dreamland you go.



Jessie (2019)

Incomprehensible twaddle.



Pizza (2014)

Mumbai pizza delivery dude gets caught up in supernatural shenanigans including possession and a haunted house in what becomes an unfunny unintentional comedy.



Morgana (2012)

Not, I repeat not, a Morgana the Kissing Bandit biopic. More's the pity...Instead, we get a monotonous low budget ghost story.




La Nina de la mina (2016)

Haunted mine. Bored viewer.




The Secret (2019)

Best to let this one stay a secret.




The Curse of La Llorona (2019)

Easily the worst of the Conjuring films, but not because it isn’t woke enough but because it’s poorly made from a boring, predictable script. Should have gone straight to Netflix.

MST3K : Horror : Season 3

(Note: I'm using an obviously subjective definition of Horror here. YMMV.)

MST3K : Horror : Season 3 





The Amazing Colossal Man (S3 E9 1991)




Earth vs. the Spider (S3 E13 1991)





War of the Colossal Beast (S3 E19 1991)





The Unearthly (S3 E20 1991)

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Halloween Logged: A plethora of Prime




Recommended




(Rewatch) The Bloodstained Butterfly (1971)

Solid Giallo



Watchable



Mansion of Evil (1989)


Overlong Bollywood (huge surprise, I know) haunted house mess. Half an hour shorter and it might have been fun.




Amityville A New Generation (1993)


Made for cable and very much of its time, neither of which is a compliment. Another haunted artifact from Amityville, this one haunting yuppie artists in gentrified lofts.


j


The Reincarnate (1971)


Not exactly lively paced but a decent low key effort.





Something Creeping in the Dark (1971)

The something is me going to get snacks, playing on my phone, feeding the cat, doing the recycling, but leaving the light off so as not t wake the missus who was fortunate enough to sleep through this


Not Recommended





There’s Nothing Out There (1991)

Dull slasher parody



The Estranged (2015)

From this film, yes I am.



The Black Forest (2018)

Black magic in Brazil. It stinks.



Ressurection (1999)

Not 7even.More like Zer0.



Witchcraft (1989)

Appallingly bad.


The Night the Prowler (1978)

Dull social satire masquerading as horror.


The Circle (2017)

Aggressively meh.

Fawn (2019)

Low budget indue Found footage ghost hunting. Feels like a student film.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

MST3K : Horror : Season 1



MST3K : Horror : Season One

(Note: I'm using the Wikipedia episode numbering system which ignores the pre-basic cable episodes aired on KTMA-TV)






The Crawling Eye
(S1 - E1 1989)




The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy
(S1 - E2 1989)




Mad Monster 
(S1 - E3 1989)



The Corpse Vanishes
(S1 - E5 1989)



The Crawling Hand
(S1 - E6 1989)




The Slime People
(S1 - E8 1989)




The Black Scorpion
(S1 - E13 1990)






Halloween Logged: Anthologies



I'm trying to only watch things I havent seen before, or in so long I can't recall them, but it's rough going. I've seen so many horror films over the last four decades - pretty much every mainstream and well-known cult flick -  that the occasional rewatch is needed just to wash away the bad movie taste once in a while.



(Rewatch) Tales of Terror (1962)

Not the strongest Corman / Poe collab but Peter Lorre is a joy in the Cask of Amontillado / Black Cat mashup




3 Doors of Horrors (2013)

Lightweight Asian horror.Adequate.




Strange Events (2017)

Low rent assemblage of random horror shorts masquerading as an anthology masquerading as a stranger Things rip-off trying to fool people into thinking its Stranger Things.




Watch if you Dare (2018)

More terrible amateur shorts.



(Rewatch) The Uncanny (1977)

Peter Cushing stars as a writer looking to blow the lid of the great feline domination conspiracy on this offbeat, but entertaining, anthology.




After Midnight (1989)

Decent late ‘80s offering.

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Halloween Logged: Creepy Kid's Stuff





Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Conjuring universe. (Well, not love...).
As a mainstream horror film, this is pretty dumb and pretty bland but as a spooky movie for 13 years old it’s terrific. This is horror for the Teen Nick set and for what it is it’s good, It’s also 90 percent easter eggs and backdoor pilots that looks like it was designed as a Universal Horror Nights attraction first, Conjuring TV series sizzle reel second and theatrical feature third.



The Haunted Mouth (1974)

Always part of my Halloween video playlist, this long-form (13 min.) toothpaste ad/classroom film is genuinely kinda creepy. Back in the ’60s and ’70s spooky stuff for kids was often actually spooky but, ever since so much of it has gotten very cheesy.


Child’s Play (1954)

British kids fiddle with an atomic playset with explosive results.Couldn’t make this now. The free-range kids will seem more fantastical to today’s audiences than the mushroom cloud rising from a detonated shed.





Mr. Boogedy (1986)

Old school Disney Channel family chiller. Great, cheesy, fun.



The Haunting Hour (2010-2014)
  • My Imaginary Friend
  • Grampires
  • The Cast
Watched a trio of episodes from the series R.L. Stines The Haunting Hour (2010-2014). Christopher Lloyd’s Grampires was by far the best of the bunch. I’ll watch a few later on in the season but there's only so much Canadian kids stuff I can take in one sitting.




Creeped Out (2019)

Another Canadian kid’s horror series on Netflix. Does nothing for me,  but I’m not a kid. Back in my day, pre-Goosebumps, we, luckily, didn’t have as much of this watered-down synthetic kiddie horror.